Thursday Thirteen 08/17/06

Good morning one and all - I just love that Thursday Thirteen banner :) Makes me wanna run upstairs and brew som Tim Horton's coffee and sit back and relax - however at midnight, that might be a bit tough on the sleep deprivation :) This week, my Thursday Thirteen is about things I heard in other people's conversations without even trying to listen:

1. "Did you hear what happened to (insert name here)? Well, I am not supposed to tell anyone but....." OK, first of all, if you are not supposed to tell, WTF are you telling someone for?? Boy, she's got upper management written all over her!


2. "Oh my God like LOL" OK it is bad enough that the phrase LOL is the most overused phrase ever. But to actually say the letters L O L in a onversation, yeah that is taking it one step closer to spelling your name SuZaNnA because it is SoOoOoOo Cool!!!


3. "What's Good Will Hunting?" Yes, someone actually said they had never heard of this movie - I almost had a coronary right in the middle of the Customer Service floor. WHAT!!!! You have GOT to be kidding me!


4. "So if I am being fired, how much money are you paying me?" Hmmmmm.....let me ponder that one for a moment.


5. "Yeah, I told my wife she better have dinner done and the house clean before I get home!" ....and your wife's cell phone number is what again?? Just want to verify the story...yeah, that's what I thought!


6. "What part of 'You aren't getting a relay so don't call back asking for one' did you not understand the first two times I told you?" LOVE IT! Just so you know, a relay is when a driver picks up a load from a shipper, but only takes it part ways to the delivery point. This was said by another Transportation Planner this week as I was walking by...I just smiled and kept on walking! :)


7. "I have dialed that number three times now and it's someone different every time...." <<click>> yeah, this was the response I heard before the gal actually hung up her phone. I didn't recognize the number, so when I answered the phone the first time, I answered the phone in a very thickSpanish accent :
   
   
   hhhhhhhalo!!!!....
   
   is (my name) there?
   
   no, deees eees Jose Jalapeno....
   
   OK sorry to have disturbed you
   
   hokey dokey adios!
   
   
   
   <<ring ring>>
   
   
   
   <<music blaring this time>>
   
   HELLO!!!
   
   is (my name) there?
   
   NAH MAN! YOU INTERRUPTED METALLICA FOR SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW?? YOU RUINED A
   GOOD SONG
   
   OK Sorry sir
   
   <<click>>
   
   
   
   <<ring ring>>
   
   
   
   <<professional serious tone>>
   
   Hello Police Athletic League
   
   Is (my name) there?
   
   Police Athletic League
   
   Is (my name) there?
   
   No, this is the Police Athletic League, how can I help you?
   
   Yes, I am trying to reach (my name). Is he there?
   
   No, I don't recognize the name, but if I see him I can pass him a message.
   
   OK, well tell him that (doctor's office) called and if he could call us back at (phone number here)
   
   Does he have a rash?
   
   Does he WHAT?
   
   Does he have a rash - I just need to know what to write on the note (now remember, I don't recognize the name, but I will pass him a message)
   
   Sir, we don't deal with rashes here
   
   Well, what should I tell him?
   
   Just tell him to call us
   
   In regards to what? I can't just tell him to call someone and nothing
   
   Well just tell him......(my home phone rings)
   
   Police Athletic League, can you hold while I try to get a very important message out of a gal from a doctor's office who isn't being real helpful .... OK you were saying?
   
   Did you know I heard you?
   
   You did? Sorry, just trying to take a message
   
   Just have (my name) call us at (phone number here) when he gets in.
   
   But I don't know who that is...do you know where he works?
   
   This isn't where he works??
   
   No, like I stated before, if I saw him I would pass a message, but I don't know who he is.
   
   <<silence>>
   
   OK well I have take this other call...thanks for calling the Police Athletic
   League
   
   
   I couldn't RESIST!!!


8. The other day at the grocery store:
   
   Sir, you are short (the guy was 5'1" if he was LUCKY!)
   
   Really, I thought there was something different about me today!


9. Scenario, following two ladies from the lunch room back to my desk, who is following another woman about 10 feet back. Woman one is 50 trying to be 25, and it isn't working....pants are so tight she's got dunlap disease (fat done lapped over her pants) and a shirt that is from a 70's garage sale. Woman two is about 45, about a size 24, and thinks that a size 14 would look GREAT on her...woman being watched is about 30, in a business suit (thin build, but rather blessed in her chest region) and looked very appropriate for a business setting. Woman being watched I see a lot, and her attire is usually business suits...but she doesn't have any where for the "girls" to hang, so they are prevalent, without being obnoxious like Beth Chapman's are (from Dog The Bounty Hunter - girlfriend needs to buy something her size!)
   
   Oh my god did you see what she had on?
   
   YES! She really needs to dress more professional
   
   I agree...this isn't the Broadway district (Hooker Heaven in Green Bay)
   
   I mean, she dresses so slutty! (OK, soooooooooo far from the truth....I detect a hint of jealousy)
   
   Yeah, we all know what she used to get a promotion (hmmm maybe she worked hard at her job?)
   
   Yeah, like they are real anyway (hey if milk does a body good, she's been drinking it by the gallon....not every large chested female is fake)
   
   <<I snickered...they realized I was close enough to hear everything....not
   another word was said>>


10. "...YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE CALLING HERE AFTER YOU ((had sexual relations)) WITH YOUR SISTER'S BEST FRIEND!!! WAS SHE GOOD? BETTER HAVE ENJOYED IT!!!! NOT LIKE YOUR GONNA SEE THIS ONE ANYTIME SOON!!!!!" ... yeah, right in the middle of work...nice eh? It would appear that his person's husband will be spending some quality time alone on his couch.


11. "Today, Sunny and highs about 81...tonight, mostly sunny, lows down to about 50, tomorrow, mostly cloudy just like today, highs around 86!" Now I am no meteorologist, but I since I am not in Alaska, I don't recall the sun being out at night. And if today is sunny, how can tomorrow be mostly cloudy, just like today? Did I miss somethihng?


12. "Someone call the bike-rack, cuz I'm fixin' to have to throw-down on someone..." -- there is an old saying, taking someone to the bike rack was a term meaning "I am gonna make them understand my point by the time I am done whoopin' up on them.....yeah, apparently now, you need a reservation! :)


13. "How long have you been here, because you act like you just started today" ...wow! Apparently, soon after, a reservation was made for the bike-rack LMAO

I sure hope you have liked my little diddies as much as I have this week. Enjoy and take care of yourselves and others.

J-Dawg

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