I think the first thing I thought of when I started to write this was "oh no - here we go again" like it is a recurring theme. I hate the fact that right now, inside I feel like a theme ride at an amusement park. The peaks and valleys of the emotional roller coaster I have been on for what seems like months is not coming to an end. My friend Dawn the other day said something to me that has stuck with me for the last couple of days ... "
You cannot control the circumstances. You cannot control the things that happen around you or to you. You cannot control how others treat you or how they act or what they do or what decisions they make. These are all external variables over which we have no say. But you CAN choose how you react and how you let these things affect you. You can choose that part." I have tried to figure out how to react to something that has an emotional tie to it that when it doesnt go your way, brings you down. Maybe its the fact that I never dealt with my feelings before, that I never had a problem in the past. Maybe in the past, the problems were minor compared to now. Maybe my problems now arent as large as they appear to be.
Jan 1st 2010 -- this is a day that I want to remember a year from now and look back and say "I DID IT!" I want this year to be filled with the positives. I want this year to be the year that I can say I put everything into everything I am doing. I have a wonderful person in my life that makes me happy. I have kids that are so wonderful, and I love every moment I get to spend with them. I am blessed to have the love and support of my family. I am blessed to have the love and support of my close friends (you know who you are). I am blessed to have Jesus Christ back in my life where He should have been all along. I am thankful for all the riches I have in my life. There is no way I could be where I am without all of this being in my life.
FOCUSES for 2010
- New Job - I am actively looking for new work. I want to put my 14 years in transportation and logistics to better use, or be able to put my IT degree to use more than it is being used right now
- My weight - it continues to be an issue. With my current job, it is so difficult to lose weight, but I know i have to find a way to do it.
- My kids - I want to have more time with them, and continue to nurture and grow them into the wonderful kids they are today. I just want to make sure they continue to grow in all the right ways.
- My family and friends - to make sure that the positives I need in my life they also get to enjoy in their lives as well.
This is just a part of what I want to do this year. I hope that you all can enjoy this year with me and be positive not only for me, but also for yourself as well. I know I slip (damn BANANA PEELS!) from time to time, and will find a way to turn that slip into a positive. Here's to 2010 and all that is holds in store for us!
J-Dawg