Life...and the hard lessons learned

This self-destructive train-wreck of a person has decided that I am no longer going to allow the character flaw that I have to be hurt anymore. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and unfortunately that comes with some consequences. Just like in my last post, you make choices, and you live with those choices. I wouldnt change the world for the choices I have made, but they come at a cost. That cost is the pain I feel tonight. A pain that I am not sure will go away any time soon.

Life, love, pain, tear - all 4 letter words. Agony, heart, broke, tears - all 5 letter words.

J-Dawg

Condendum of Situations

Do you ever become hard on yourself for decisions you consciously made? Sometimes, I find myself to be my toughest critic. I never regret decisions I made. We arent 18 and in high school anymore. I am 39 and an adult, making adult decisions. Some of these decisions are as a result of doing what makes me happy. Some of these decisions are because they just feel the right thing to do. Either way, they are MY decisions. You don't have to agree with them, but I do ask that you respect them. Sometimes when you make a decision, people can get hurt. Sometimes, people just dont understand, because they choose NOT to understand.

In life, we sometimes have to make decisions that don't necessarily "agree" with those not involved with the decision, mainly because they don't understand the entire situation, or are only seeing it from their own perspective, or as if it were their decision to make.

I dont want to divulge the entire situation, for some things are meant to be private. Just understanding what I am dealing with, or knowing that sometimes you have to make difficult decisions, is enough for me. Do I do the right thing, or do I do the right thing for me?

Its never easy, that's for sure. I never have a situation where you look at it and go "Well, duh! that's an easy one!" I seem to find myself looking at things and basically says "WTF have I got myself into this time." Whether its a work related issue, or in this case, a personal issue, sometimes life just lends itself to working itself out to the best decision. Which still leaves me with the question "Do I do what's right? or do I do what's right for me?" My buddy Rick told me today "you have to be happy. Whatever makes you happy, is what you should do. You will know when you have the decision you need make made."

He's right. We owe it to ourselves to be happy. Either way would make me happy. Which way would make me happiest is another question. In my mind I think I have the decision made, but at what cost? In my mind, I know which decision would make me happier.

J-Dawg

Inspiration from a Friend

Earlier today, as I was sitting here with my allergies, wishing I would have been able to go to the softball game I was invited to, I came across a passage:

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ~



Earlier in the day, I have become "down" for the lack of a better term, with the fact that I wasnt able to get out today due to my allergies. Then I had come across a video on my friend Melissa's FaceBook page. Its a video I have seen before, but each time I see it, it makes me think. It is the story of Nick Vujicic (yeah, I had to google it to figure out how to spell his last name!) and his "Life Without Limbs". Its an amazing story, and one which makes you realize how miniscule your problems are compared with the rest of the world.

Yeah, today was one of those days where I had to dig down deep to have the strength to get back up. Its not that I have some debilitating disease or anything like that. Sometimes I forget that the challenges put before us, strengthen us as a person. God will never give us something we cannot handle. Sometimes I just lose sight of that.

J-Dawg

Thoughts of a Post lead to a blogger re-design

Tonight, as I sat here, I contemplated doing something I havent done in awhile...write! As I sat here, I decided that my blog just needed a new update. No, there was nothing wrong with the old one, I had just become "old" with it. Funny, since my original blog lasted me the first 3 or so years of its existence before I changed anything about it.

So that wasnt the intention when I sat down, however I changed it. Funny thing is, when I went to write, I had forgotten what I was going to write about ... I guess it wasnt that important to begin with then was it! :)

J-Dawg

End of Week 1 / Beginning of Week 2

As with any new job, come responsibilities. For me, these responsibilities are new, and as such, I am finding it a challenge on what I can and cant do. There aren't many set processes in place, or rulebook I can follow. It seems to be made up as we go along, or it's a case of "that's how we have always done it" which for me, is just a sign of lack of direction.

I am finding though that the challenges are worth their weight in gold. I am starting to learn the every day duties that go on in the office. Each day, I am forcing myself to learn one more piece, or one more process, or one more duty that I didnt know the day before. Its hard coming into a new job, where people that have been there as long as some of them have, have the mindset of "we've always done it this way". When you try to implement a change, they see it as you not knowing what you are doing. Then again, my office staff thinks pretty highly of me.

The first thing I noticed when I came into the job was that the office area we had was not conducive for an office environment. It was loud, not set up well at all, and there are constant interruptions. I noticed an office area not being used, so in my first meeting with each of the office people, I asked them a simple question: "What one thing would you change about your work that you currently do?" I expected to hear getting out on time, or taking some workload off my plate. NOPE! Each of them stated (in separate meetings) "I would love to be in an office environment where we can work and not have an many interruptions and is quieter"...so in the first week, I asked my immediate boss what would be the possibility of having our current office moved to the office/conference area not being used right now. He agreed, and we move in 10 days! THEY WERE THRILLED!!! They said they had been trying to get moved SOMEWHERE - ANYWHERE - for almost 6 months! So they think I am a pretty cool dude LOL which is fine by me. I like to think I am a likable guy! I actually got a compliment from one of the lead drivers, who also works in the office. He said to me today "You are doing just fine - the guys are taking a liking to you already - just keep doing what you are doing!" That made me feel really good!

Its hard when you work in an environment for so long that is pro-active, and now you are in an environment that is constantly reactive. But that is the nature of this business and the business they run. There are ALOT of holes that I would like to address but one at a time is how I am taking it. We got the office environment we want (or will have it anyway in 10 days!). One down - many many more to go!

Its been an interesting week, and I look forward to another week filled with challenges! Until next time...

J-Dawg

Tonight's Weather

Here are a couple photos from tonights weather-maker - Tornado Warning tonight in Green Bay.
The first one is PRE-warning
The second one is AS the tornado sirens were going off
The third one was 30 mins after the warning expired
The last one was during the rain - I actually got a picture of it raining.

J-Dawg

Post #200 - and ... the start of something new

Almost 15 years ago, I started with Schneider National Carriers as a driver. They took someone who didnt know the first thing about driving a truck, and trained me to become a driver. Since that time, I have had the privilege of being a part of One-Way system freight (random) Dedicated for customers such as Ford, Kimberly Clark, Proctor and Gamble, Fort Howard (now Georgia Pacific after a few acquisitions), and Chrysler. I had the opportunity to work in operations, dealing with driver concerns, pay, overweight loads, and the like. Then I had the opportunity to do a start-up of an account in Newark Delaware, for our customer Chrysler. This entailed building routes, setting up rack and part returns, dealing with 6-7 trucking companies, and over 100 of our own drivers. I then had that same opportunity in Green Bay to work with GM-SPO. After that, I became a 2nd shift dispatcher, dispatching freight in the Northeast (Basically Virginia to Buffalo and east, and from Windsor Canada east). I eventually added dedicated to my plate, which was alot of fun. I then had the opportunity to work with our box team, developing and deploying a tool known as Box Management. This tool would allow us to keep better track of our trailers. I then moved into a Driver Dispatch Planner role, which was alot of fun. This allowed me to be responsible for almost 200 drivers, and dispatch them no matter where they were in the country. This was my most challenging role. This also allowed me to work on a project known as Weekly Time At Home (WTAH). This was started at 7 different operating centers, but over time, the only one continuing the program was myself (with my counterparts at the Chicago OC). I asked permission to develop it and work with the drivers more directly, which they allowed me to do. The WTAH model I developed is now being done by alot of different people at Schneider all over the country. Then, Schneider decided to eliminate my position due to the economy, which I took in stride. At the end of my severance time, I chose to return to driving with Schneider, a move that ALOT of people questioned, and a move that at least one manager tried to block. Even my family was taken aback by the decision. I looked at it this way. I know the ins and outs of that company better that almost anyone...why not keep doing what I already know...so I did. I eventually was given the opportunity to become a training engineer (train drivers who have recently graduated from driving schools for trucking) and I have enjoyed that.

But now, I have an opportunity to grow not only as a person, but also grow others as well. It is with great sadness that I say that I am leaving Schneider National. But it is with great joy and jubilation that I announce that I am now the Transportation Supervisor for a small company here in Green Bay. It is a great move for me, filled with its own new unique challenges. I am eternally grateful for my manager the last 1½ years Wanda, for she kept me grounded, she believed in me, even when those higher up didnt, and almost pushed me to be the best I can be. She nominated me for the Training Engineer program (the only Green Bay driver). I had to fight to keep her as my manager, but it was well worth the fight. She always looked after me on the road, and did her best to always get me home ontime. I always did the best I could, and even did the work that nobody else would do, and got the job done.

Now I get to enjoy being home every night and every weekend again. I get to do all the things with my kids that I have been missing -- like my daughter's dance lessons, my son's swimming lessons, and my daughter's and son's soccer practices and games. I am looking forward to having a routine again. I am looking forward to making a life again. And .... I am looking forward to 16 days from now when Annie will be landing in Green Bay! :) She is coming up for a 2-plus week visit!

So as I say goodbye to a part of my life, and hello to a new chapter, I am reminded of the quote from Jim Coleman ... "I like to think that my finest hour is still ahead of me, so I can look forward rather than look backward." I am looking forward to the new challenges I face :)

J-Dawg